I haven't been particularly chatty lately. I don't know if you have noticed- if you haven't, that's ok! I'm keeping up with my regular posts on my blog, but I haven't been posting much extra. I'm slow to respond to emails and messages, and I've realized I'm not reaching out quite as much as I normally would. I think that there are a lot of reasons for the way I've turned a bit inward these past few weeks. Changing jobs has been exciting and a relief, but at the same time the change has weighed heavily on me. Any time there's a big change in my life, it affects me physically and emotionally. Even rearranging furniture can be unsettling for me. And I would say that there are some things in my life right now- feelings I'm dealing with, stuff that's coming up in counseling, and even a few issues with my physical health- that are causing me to move a little slower, think a little harder, be a little quieter.
There has been a lot of introspection going on lately.
During this inward turn, I've been thinking a lot about gratitude, and doing more journaling, too. When looking into some journaling prompts, I found a really neat blog series about a gratitude challenge. Well, I don't know how neat the series is, because I haven't read it yet. But I did find a graphic in which the author lists a particular theme for weekly posts about gratitude. She challenged herself to be more grateful (and be more mindful of the things for which she can be grateful) throughout the year, and her posts shine a light on particular areas of her life, and how thankful she is for those things. I am going to work on tweaking her list a bit to better suit my needs, and maybe come up with my own graphic to share on here! But in the meantime, I wanted to share an introductory post today, explaining what I'm hoping to do. And I think that a good place to start is to share something I'm grateful for today.
Today, I'm grateful for rest. I'm having my own little sabbath today. It's been a bit of a challenge to adjust to having Wednesdays off (again, changes in routine are hard for me.) Monday and Tuesday were a struggle. Time crawled very slowly. Work sort of dragged on (I am so happy to be there, but things seem to move a little slower at this branch- maybe it's because everyone pitches in to help out, so there doesn't seem to be as much to do!) My issues with my feelings haven't been dragging me down, but they definitely have made me a little off kilter. And to top that off, I'm having problems with both my stomach and my back. For days, I have just been craving rest. Do you ever feel that way? It's not the same as wanting a lazy day. It's not that I don't feel like doing anything. The issue is that I need to not do anything. I need to give myself a break- I have been pushing myself really hard lately, trying to be a better home-keeper, a better spouse, and even a better employee (I still feel like I'm trying to make a good impression, one month in!) Something I'm really working on is convincing myself that missing out on something, or not getting everything done that I write on my to-do list (which is very ambitious, most days) does not make me a failure. I am extraordinarily hard on myself when it comes to, well, just about everything. Giving myself a break helps me work on breaking that negative thought habit.
I'm grateful that I have a built in day of rest this week. I'm grateful that my responsibilities for the day are at a minimum. I'm grateful that I get to spend some time with my husband this afternoon and evening- we don't get to spend a lot of time together during the NCAA tournament (he camps out with all our available screens to watch the games and keep score for our entire family.) And I am especially grateful that I get to go to my magical new hair place today, which is really more of a very affordable and friendly spa than anything else. I'm so looking forward to it!
Seeking the good things and being intentionally grateful has been really great for my headspace, and I think that if you give it a try, you'll find it's pretty great for you, too! And you're welcome to join me in this blogging challenge- whether you want to post publicly or want to use the topics as journaling prompts, I think that it will be a lot of fun!