Nuts and bolts

Blogging is proving to be therapeutic for me at the moment, so I'm going to try a little harder to write regularly. I don't think I have any followers anymore, though. Oh well.

I realized I mentioned the possibility of surgery in my last post, but I hadn't ever explained why. So here we go.

Almost 11 years ago, when I was a wee middle-schooler, I found out that I had really bad scoliosis, and surgery was pretty much the only thing that would correct it. My initial doctor's appointment was in late September or early October. My surgery was in December. It was apparently pretty bad- and the curve of my spine grew almost 5 degrees worse between that first visit and the surgery. My lower lumbar spinal fusion was the day after Christmas, which worked out pretty well for me because I got more presents. : )

The pain after the surgery was pretty horrible, but more because of the incision (halfway around my torso) and the rib they took for a bone graft. I don't really remember my actual back hurting me that much. I was in the hospital for about a week, and missed a month of school. When I went back, I wasn't supposed to carry my books to class, and I got permission to use the elevator to get to my classes.

Over the years my back has hurt some, but really, wouldn't you expect to have some back pain if you had a metal rod screwed to your spinal column? I think we all assumed it came with the territory. The pain has popped up more frequently over the years, though. In the past few years I've also started having pain spreading from my lower back to my hips. This year the pain has started to spread to my legs- not all the time, but often enough. I can't sit in bed (or on the couch or whatever) with my legs straight out in front of me because they start to burn after a few minutes, like my femur is being heated up. Every day I have a heating pad on my lower back at some point or another. Since this summer, it's gotten to the point where I have trouble standing upright most mornings. I have felt crooked, having trouble bending at the waist in one direction (against the curve.) So I finally made an appointment to see my orthopedic surgeon, whom I have not seen since an early 2003 check-up.

I got to my appointment, dealt with the rude receptionist (it was early so I can't say "oh, well maybe she's just tired after a long day of working"), answered lots of questions and did all the weird exercises orthopedic doctors like to see you do: walking on my heels, walking on my tip toes, bending my arms different ways, etc. I got to have two x-rays (front and side), and after they were printed, the doctor's assistant and one of the nurse ladies (I guess that's what they were- they didn't talk to me much) took a look at them, muttering things like "possible non-union." Then the doctor came in to look, and said something about "possible disc degeneration" and agreed with the assistant person when she pointed out this "possible non-union", whatever it was. Then he wrote me a note for work, saying I shouldn't lift things off the floor but I could do pretty much everything else, said I needed to have a CT scan and to come back in 2 weeks. And that's it. My mom and I got to do all the research ourselves. It's difficult to do that, though, because you don't want to freak yourself out too much, but at the same time, you're not a doctor and you don't know the specific details of the situation. You don't even know that there IS a non-union.

Non-union sounds work related, but apparently in the medical world, it means a broken bone (or in my case, a bone graft) that doesn't heal properly. It doesn't seal itself up completely like a bone should. What's the most common symptom of a non-union? Pain. How informative. In the case of spinal fusions like mine, a non-union would not only cause pain, but it would also mean replacing at least some of the hardware in there that's attached to one's spinal column. In some cases, if a little halo thing appears around one of the screws on the x-ray, it could mean that that screw is loose, which doesn't sound very safe to me. We overheard something about a halo while my doctor was looking at my x-rays with his assistant. Of course, they didn't tell us what that was, or what it would mean, so we learned that part on our own as well.

I took my note to work and left it on my manager's desk, since he was not there when I came to work Thursday, and sent him an email explaining what was (possibly) going on. I didn't work Friday, and when I came to work Saturday, I found out that apparently my place of employment does not acknowledge "light duty restrictions", and even though lifting things from the floor is a very tiny part of my job, if I can't do it, I can't come to work. So I am on medical leave until my doctor's appointment next week. I think it's pretty dumb, but there you have it. I like being off work (and getting paid for it), but I'm really concerned about using two weeks of my banked sick leave on this, when I may really need it for surgery. Remember, last time I was out of school for a month- but one could say that I was on "light duty restrictions" (I'm starting to hate that term.) It's allowed at school but not at work. So, if it turns out that I DO need surgery, I could be at home even longer this time than I was last time. Theoretically.

I had my CT scan this Wednesday, and it was rather pleasant.The scrubs I got to wear felt like pajamas, and I got a cool isosceles triangle-shaped pillow to put under my knees during the scan, and I can honestly say those few minutes were the most comfortable I've been in months. I need one of those pillows. But I digress. Before the scan, I was being asked questions about why I was there. When I mentioned "possible non-union", the nice technician looked up at me from his keyboard, peering over his glasses in this dramatic moment, and asked "do you have pain in your legs?" When I responded with a yes, he gave me this look and said "mmhmm" in a weird way. The EXACT SAME THING happened in the doctor's office the day I had my x-rays. I guess this isn't a good sign.

So here I sit, at home, sometimes enjoying my mandatory vacation from work. I was hoping to get a bit more accomplished at home this week than I actually have, but I still have most of next week to get things done, too. And I don't have to worry about not doing things too close to time to go to work. For example, loading the dishwasher makes my back hurt pretty badly. So I try not to load the dishwasher too close to time to leave to work, so I'm not suffering more than I have to at work. I also don't have to worry about planning my meals around my work schedule- usually I don't eat anything three hours before work, in case what I eat makes me sick. So those things are nice. It's good to have a break. My back is happy about that. I've also had the chance to start taking these iron pills I'm supposed to be taking, since results of a blood test I had two weeks ago show that my iron levels are really low. The iron pills make me sick, so it's nice to not have to worry about getting sick at work. And I'm reaping the benefits of taking the iron pills: I have more energy and I feel less like a walking corpse. That's a plus.

My follow-up appointment with my surgeon is next Thursday morning...five days away. I hope I'm able to make the most of my remaining time off. And while I feel more and more like surgery is in my future (especially because of the "do you have leg pain" thing), I am really hoping that I would be able to put that off until the beginning of next year, when I will have stored away more sick leave, and my mom would have her leave time replenished at work so she could help take care of me. It would have to be on January 3rd or after, because I don't want to be in the hospital or in pain on my anniversary.