Madi

The holidays often inspire us to give a little above and beyond our usual commitments (if we have any), and there are many, many giving opportunities out there- local and international. If you have donated to a charity before, or follow a non-profit on social media, you have surely received some sort of notice about Giving Tuesday this year.

To understand Giving Tuesday, I guess you have to understand the weekend that comes before it. While the media may claim that Thanksgiving week is the biggest spending period of the year, statistics show that it isn't. It is, however, probably the only time of year where people purchase personalized t-shirts and write out complicated battle plans for shopping. It's the only time of year that shops and malls are going to pay their employees to hang out and work in the middle of the night. For an entire weekend, we are encouraged to spend, spend spend. Discounts, coupons, flyers, special offers, rewards programs.....Thanksgiving weekend has changed, for many people, into a day off to plan your shopping. There just happens to be a turkey dinner served beforehand. Black Friday leads to Small Business Saturday leading to Cyber Monday (after a break for Sunday brunch, I guess.)

A long-standing tradition for Thanksgiving is to take some time to share what we're thankful for. One of my friends wrote these blessings out on a table centerpiece. Many of us have challenged each other to share each day on social media about something for which we are thankful. These expressions of gratitude cover a vast range of things, from the obvious (family and friends) to the things we take for granted (clean water, indoor plumbing.)

Two months after Hurricane Matthew hit Haiti, I spent some time this weekend hanging my Haitian Christmas ornaments on my tree. Created from trash- colorful paper and reclaimed oil barrels- these ornaments are a reminder to me of two things. The first is a reminder of all the Haitian people I love very dearly, from my friend's son who was born there to my sweet Compassion kids. The second is a reminder that God can take bad things and make them good again. And that he provides for his people when they are faced with difficult circumstances. People who live in impoverished situations can sometimes find themselves surrounded by literal garbage- from the trash I saw on the roads in Honduras to the dumps in India, to these oil barrels in Haiti. In this case, that trash has been turned into an income generating opportunity for Haitian moms and dads who struggle to keep their families together. Their circumstances were challenging before the 2010 earthquake, before the devastating hurricane. Can you imagine how they must be now? It's tough enough to try to care for your family, surviving on income generated by your small fruit orchard or family farm, sleeping in a home made of cinderblocks and discarded wood. What about when torrential rains and 100 mile an hour winds flood your garden, uproot your trees, destroy your home?

Two months later, the people of Haiti still need help. Their problems were not solved with the brief spurt of financial support that came a few days after the hurricane- particularly since the storm then headed for Florida and Georgia, where it lessened in intensity and destructive force, distracting us from the fact that Haiti was crushed as severely as it was.

Haiti needs help. Compassion is helping to rebuild. Today, as your inbox is flooded with pitches from various organizations, please consider contributing any amount- even $10- to their relief efforts. The wonderful thing about Compassion is that unlike other groups, their relief efforts are headed by lead by locals. There isn't a team of outsiders coming in to sweep up a bit and then leave again. They know the people because they ARE the people. And they aren't going anywhere. They won't stop until the work is done- hopefully better than before. They provide love and encouragement in addition to food, water, and shelter. You can follow this link  to learn more.

And if you are interested in sponsoring a child from Haiti, please consider sweet Keth My Love. I adore her name. This beautiful girl has been waiting over almost 9 months for a sponsor. You can read more about her here.

No Strings Attached

I've been doing some thinking lately on conditional love. Usually when one is putting those two words together, they're saying "unconditional," rather than what I typed. In an ideal world, that's the only kind of love we'd have. Parents wouldn't abandon kids. Relationships wouldn't fall apart. Teachers would treasure the children in their care. Unconditional love sounds great, but it's hard to keep up. 

The concept of conditional love has been on my mind a lot lately, because of all the horrible things we see in the news these days. I know it can be overwhelming at times. Honestly, sometimes my grief for the loss of life people are experiencing around the world is almost outweighed by disgust brought on by things like online comment sections. I try to avoid them, but sometimes they show up. Right now I have many friends, family, and acquaintances who seem to have forgotten their Christian principles and traded them for outrage, anger, and bigotry. "Turn the other cheek" and "pray for your enemies" have been exchanged for "bomb the **** out of them" and "not in my house." And I'm not even going to get into what the Bible says about specific issues like immigration, poverty, and how to treat those who don't share our beliefs. I am by no means perfect, but I feel like I am at least making an attempt at behaving like Jesus asks us to. I try not to hate other people, and if they are living a life that is not in line with my beliefs, I make an effort to treat them with dignity. The Bible says that people will know we are Christians by our love. And, second only to loving God and keeping his commands, we are instructed to love others. Love them more than ourselves. Love even when it's difficult. When they don't love back. When they are talking about hurting us or actually hurting us. There aren't any clauses that say "love one another.....unless you're dealing with someone who's different than you." Nor does the Bible say "only love Christians." We are supposed to love unconditionally. It's really, really tough, but God wants us to try. If he didn't, he wouldn't have told us to do it in the first place. Remember the verse that people like to use when faced with a challenge, or that's thrown onto motivational posters? God works everything together for the good of those who love him. The interesting thing is that the verse doesn't end there- there's another phrase that doesn't always get stamped on mugs and tote bags. It ends with "and are called according to his purpose." God is working things out that we are called to do. It doesn't mean that every situation is going to end happily, at least from our point of view. But it does mean that if we are following God's will, and following his instructions, he's working everything out. And one of those "purposes" is for us to love, and to be the hands and feet of Jesus. 

Now, I don't know if it's been a while since you've read the New Testament, but not everything Jesus said was sunshine and roses. He got pretty sassy sometimes. He could be condemning in his speech, and it can be cringe-worthy to read about him scolding the apostles and the religious leaders of his time. The man wasn't afraid to speak sharply when the situation called for it. He flat out called the apostles stupid at least once. But have you ever noticed that Jesus usually doesn't talk that way to the regular, everyday misfits and screw-ups he comes across? The bleeding woman snatched at his clothing as he made his way through a crowd, and while he did ask "who touched me?" he didn't follow with "how dare you?" The rich prince acted like he was ready to follow Jesus, but couldn't bring himself to give up his possessions (follow a command) and live an uncomfortable life- and when he walked away, Jesus didn't scoff or holler after him "your loss!" He didn't even speak harshly to his good friend Martha when she not only wouldn't sit down and hang out with him, but tried to tattle on her sister, Mary, for not being a good enough hostess and help her out. He didn't shy away from telling the truth- when he spoke to the woman at the well, who had been married five times and was shacking up with her boyfriend, he didn't say "boo you whore" (thanks, Mean Girls), he said "I know what your deal is. If you want something better, you need to put that away and follow me." He wasn't a meek little lamb, but he spoke with grace. And love. Unconditional love. 

If you are a Christian, you are called to love other people unconditionally. You are to be Jesus in the flesh to those who need him. Representative of Christ, of the living God, the creator of the universe, who loves you just as much as he loves your neighbors who mow the lawn early in the morning, as much as he loves the Muslim family eating at the table next to you in the restaurant, as much as he loves the gay couple appearing in the Cheerios ad. God's love is unconditional, and his mercy is a gift available to everyone, should they choose to accept it. He isn't just our heavenly father, he's the PERFECT father. He loves as a perfect parent would- unconditionally. My mom used to say something really weird when I was a kid- that she'd still love me if I grew up to be a serial killer. She'd be really disappointed and would hate my actions, but I'm still her child and she'd still love me. That's unconditional love. And if my mom can do that, as a human with flaws and limitations, how much more does our heavenly father love us? 

Sadly, I've seen some really upsetting instances recently where love was offered and then threatened to be taken away when the recipient didn't live up to the giver's expectations. It feels particularly distressing that this conditional love was offered in the name of charity. Charity should be love in its purest form, a selfless act of giving. In a perfect world, we wouldn't help others to make ourselves feel good, or to look better in the eyes of our neighbors, or to get a refund on our taxes. I know that's why some people do it. But I would hope that when other human beings are involved, not just an anonymous donation of funds, that the heart of the giver would be extending unconditional love. And it drives me absolutely batty when that's not the case. Since most of what I talk about here is sponsorship related, you can bet that's what I'm talking about now. It makes my stomach a little upset when I read or hear people complaining. Now, there's definitely a time and a place to provide feedback. It's good and helpful to notify a department of a technical issue. It's fine and acceptable to ask about a situation if something seems amiss. But what I don't understand, and what I think is completely unacceptable, is threatening a child (or the people who care for that child) with the cessation of support when you just don't feel like you're getting enough in return. It hurts my heart and my head to read things like "I've been writing to this kid for four months and he barely told me anything in his letter. I'm starting to think this is a scam." Or "I've been writing to my child for two months now and have yet to receive a letter. If this situation does not improve, I'm considering cancelling my sponsorship and choosing a child who will show more appreciation." (That is lifted almost word for word from a sponsor posting on a support forum.) How about "I sent photos, cards, and coloring pages to my kid- all he said was thank you! He barely mentioned it. I'm pretty fed up." Or "I bothered to go visit my child and he didn't say anything about it in his next letter. I've never experienced anything so ungrateful." 

Maybe the people who say these things think it's acceptable because the person they're helping- their sponsor child- isn't right in front of them, the way that people are awfully bold behind a keyboard and are willing to say things in print that they'd never let out of their mouths. Maybe sometimes there's a sense of superiority inherent in western sponsors, a discrimination of sorts based on geography and economic advantage. Maybe people really are that mean. I'm not sure what the answer is. But can you imagine if this attitude was applied to other situations? A woman volunteers at a soup kitchen. The silence of the recipients begins to bother her. "I'm spending my Saturday free time here, handing out a soup, and I don't even get a thank you? I'd even take a comment on how good it tastes!" By the end of the day, she decides never to return- or at least, she'll visit the shelter on the other side of town, where she's heard the visitors to the kitchen are more vocal about their appreciation. Or here's another a man begins donating clothes to his local charity shop- they're all in good shape, average sized, and still moderately stylish. He heard about the shop's need for donations when attending a company retreat, and decided to do a little spring cleaning and weed out his closet. He leaves the drop-off area feeling good about himself, and his decision to help in this way. A few weeks pass by and he decides to break routine and visit the inside of the shop, rather than the drop off area. He's fairly impressed by what he sees, but makes a mental note of how things could be run more efficiently. As he approaches the men's department of the shop, he sees a familiar jacket. And then a shirt. And a whole mess of ties, haphazardly dropped into a plastic bin for display. So many items that he gave from his own collection, neglected by shoppers! And the prices they're asking for the ties is just a travesty. Don't they know that he paid good money for those not a year ago? They definitely deserve to be sold for more than a dollar a piece. Angrily, he gathers up an armful of what was formerly his clothing, vowing never to return. "Next time these will go to someone who appreciates them," he snarls at the shop employee, who has nothing to do with pricing or the fact that some of his items haven't been sold to properly appreciative customers- she's just in charge of ringing people up. 

If these situations seem pretty far-fetched to you, here's a more personal one, from real life rather than my imagination. An elderly woman with no grandchildren of her own doted on her great nieces and nephews more than a great aunt might have. She carefully selected gifts for their birthdays and for Christmas, and even made little goodie bags for other holidays throughout the year- candies and pencils, sometimes a little stuffed toy. But after a while, she noticed that one little boy in particular never offered the same expressions of gratitude as the other kids. He said "thanks," but it didn't really sound like he meant it. And he wasn't always so excited about the gifts she brought. She put a lot of time and effort into selecting them, and she was on a limited income, but she considered the sacrifice worthy. She loved the children, after all. But month after month, she grew increasingly irritated with the boy. The other kids were always so excited to receive her gifts, and he wasn't as impressed by them. The annoyance turned to bitterness in her heart. "If he doesn't appreciate what I do for him, I just won't do it anymore," the woman thought to herself. So she stopped bringing presents, and she stopped sending cards. She didn't stop to think about the situation the boy came from- parents who were never there for him, a family that was constantly on the move, planting ideas in his head that everything was temporary and might be left behind if they needed to leave at the last minute. Abandoned by his parents and left with relatives at a young age, surely a lasting impression was left on the boy about adults and their treatment of children. It had to have affected his behavior in at least some small ways. Many of us would try extra hard to make a connection with a child like this, to be sure they knew they were loved and valued. But the woman decided instead that she would cut off this branch of her family tree completely. After she stopped sending gifts to the boy, she pretended like he didn't exist. She stopped talking to his parents. When he grew up, she refused to acknowledge his children, or his marriage. Her bitterness overwhelmed her heart, and she found herself avoiding more members of the family, just in case the boy, now a man, was visiting. Or would visit. Or call. In the end, she missed more family functions- weddings, funerals, and everything in between, big or small- because....a child didn't show proper gratitude. Love was offered conditionally. And those conditions weren't met. 

You will never hear me say that once you sign up for something, you have to continue it until the day you die. If you lose a job or find yourself in dire financial straits and have to cancel a sponsorship, I get that. It really stinks and I'm sorry, but I get that. If a sponsor child discontinues the program and you decide to start supporting another organization instead, I get that too. Or if you got caught up in a fit of excitement and requested too many correspondents, and now find yourself overwhelmed and need to give up some of your kids, that also makes sense (though I hope everyone would enter into a commitment like that cautiously, so as to not become strained and burned out.) But I will never, ever understand those people who choose a child to love, and then take that love away because they got bored. Or the child wasn't meeting their (adult) expectations. Can you picture an adult telling, say, a four year old, "I'm not talking to you anymore because what you had to say wasn't interesting enough." Or cutting off an eight year old- "you know what? I worked hard on those coloring pages I sent you. If you aren't even going to mention them, I'm going to pick another kid instead." I feel like the kind of people who jump to that reaction have some issues of their own that probably need to be worked out. They certainly aren't attempting to represent Christ in a situation where that's really their sole purpose- to be the hands and feet of Jesus here on earth. Where does "love your neighbor as yourself" fit into that attitude? Or "welcoming a little child" in Jesus' name? Or what God considers to be "pure and faultless" religion, caring for the widows and orphans? How about giving "generously and without a grudging heart?" The righteous giving and not holding back? Do you think people who love conditionally fall into the category of people who are considered generous, who are blessed because they shared their food with the poor? What about the one who shuts his eyes to need- we know that he will be cursed. And we for sure that we are supposed to give in secret- the implication being that if we are doing it secretly, our motives and intentions are honorable and we're not doing it for recognition. We're not supposed to ask for anything in return when we give. And we're told multiple times that what we give will be given back to us- we reap what we sow, and if we're not sowing much, we won't get much in return. We also know from scripture that if we aren't loving, we're not really Christians; if we don't love others then we don't know God. And if we're confused about what love is, we know that it is patient and kind, it doesn't brag, it's not resentful, and it's selfless. Does conditional love fit those requirements? No. Conditional love isn't love at all. Those who say they love but attach strings to it aren't really loving, are they? And self-sacrifice is an act of love. If we are sacrificing- giving charitably- while bragging, or being selfish, or resentful, then we are acting in disobedience to God. Acting outside his will. And acting outside his will is, well, sin. Such a heavy word for an act that some people probably don't even realize they're carrying out. But, to paraphrase Neil deGrasse Tyson, the great thing about the truth is that it's still the truth, whether we believe it or not. 

I want to challenge you to take some time this week and think about how you love- whether it's loving someone face to face, like a spouse, child, or family member; loving someone with an action, like making a donation or giving up something we want; or loving from a distance, as is the case with child sponsorship. Is your love unconditional? Are you withholding love from someone because your flesh is drowning out the holy spirit? If you call yourself a follower of Christ, are you really doing all you can to love as he did? I know I fall short of Jesus' expectations of me. Sometimes my desire to be funny overwhelms my desire to love as Christ loves us, and my tone goes from charmingly humorous to venomously snarky faster than I realize. No one is perfect. But we don't excuse other sins by saying, "well, no one is perfect." We have to hold ourselves to higher standards. We have to at least make an effort. And hopefully, in the end, everyone around us and in our circle of influence- from coworkers to parents, sponsor children to that random person we run into in the grocery store who tests are patience so very well- hopefully all of them will know we are Christians by our love. 

You Get What You Give

Giving has been on my mind a lot lately. I think it mostly stems from the fact that I am working on clearing my house of clutter and things that we haven't touched in years, in an effort to make life a little easier to manage. I've also taken part in several conversations about monetary gifts; folks are feeling urged to give a little more these days, from the stories of the persecuted Christians in the Middle East, to stories about animals being rescued from the crazy winter weather the eastern half of the US has been experiencing. People have been asking "how can I help?" And that's great! But I do know that a lot of folks worry about whether giving is always effective, or if the recipients are using donations wisely. Or you might even wonder what the best way to help actually is! Here is a little advice, or guidance, if you want it.

1. Decide whom you want to help. It may sound silly at first, but there really are people out there who don't give because, to be put simply, so many people need help that they figure they can't make a difference, and therefore decide not to try. Every act of kindness helps. So how do you decide whom to help? Think about what your passions are. What do you care about most? For example, if you spent a chunk of your childhood in the hospital growing up, or were a frequent visitor because of a sick sibling, you might consider giving to a place like the Ronald McDonald House, which provides meals and a place to stay for families with children in the hospital (we have one here in Louisville because of our amazing children's hospital, Kosair's.) Small groups can volunteer to cook meals for the families staying there, or one could donate things like toys and board games to entertain the little ones staying with mom and dad in a strange city. Or, if you don't feel you have the time or the organizational skills to donate something tangible (which most of us do) you can always go with monetary donations.

Don't think that you have to limit yourself to one area of charitable giving, either. Any time a news organization shares a story about foreign aid or overseas missions, some random people who need a lot of prayer come along and comment that they feel all of the problems in the United States need to be solved before anyone else gets helped. So many are under the impression that "charity begins at home" is a Biblical concept (bull.) Think of it this way: if you saw an article about an organization that collects cat food and donations to have stray cats spayed or neutered, and also adopts some of them out, would you think "OH MY GOSH WHAT ABOUT THE DOGS. DOGS ARE IMPORTANT TOO," or would  you think "that's neat that these people have such a passion for helping cats, which is important because there are so many strays out there?" Probably the latter. It's possible to care about more than one thing, and it's possible to support charities and ministries for those things! Personally, my favorite areas of giving involve children, education, empowerment for women, and animals. That doesn't mean that I don't care about cancer research or homeless veterans- I do! But my passions are for the first things, and therefore, I am best equipped to advocate for them.

2. Know your audience. This is a tricky one. Sometimes we think that it's good to just throw money or things in the direction of people needing help, and we walk away feeling good about ourselves for doing so. But what we have to give isn't always what is really needed. Do a little research (or even just some critical thinking) before you give. For an example of what I'm talking about, I have a little story to tell.

Two years ago, I participated in a Bible study based on Jen Hatmaker's book "7." A running theme in the book is simplifying our lives, and realizing that we are surrounded by an abundance of blessings- and maybe we don't need to keep all those blessings for ourselves, but could share them with others. I had the idea to use some of my spare space in my home to store some of the items that my former Bible study group members were getting rid of, when we did the part of the study that asked us to downsize our homes a little bit. The idea was to collect things like linens, small appliances, and dishes for a refugee ministry here in Louisville. We have a strangely large refugee and immigrant population (I say it's strange because we're not a major metropolis, nor are we anywhere near a border or the coasts) and this ministry welcomes them to our country by setting them up with small apartments and basic necessities, to give them a good start in America. We also collected clothing. The idea was that we'd have an organizing and distribution day, and everyone would come over and help sort everything out and get it to where it needed to go (a challenge for me, since I just had spine surgery.) What actually ended up happening was that people brought boxes and boxes and boxes of stuff, and filled up my home. My garage is full. My spare bedroom is full. Someone even came and left boxes in front of my home after I said there was no more room and the project hadn't gone as expected. Before you get too excited about the generosity of my former group members, here's the important part of the story: so much of it was just garbage. Stained bedding. Broken baskets. Shot glasses. VHS tapes recorded from television. Bizarrely themed figurines. Half empty bottles of lotion. Moldy three-ring binders. Do you think that this kind of situation- the donation of what we don't want, delivered under the guise of helping- is unique to this story? No! It happens all the time! Ask anyone who has worked for a charitable organization. Places like Goodwill or those clothing collection bins in parking lots give people the chance to "dump and run." Before you give, make sure that you're giving to help others, not to make your life better or easier by getting rid of your junk. Don't give old, scratched and dented toys to a Christmas toy drive. Don't send the weird jar of nearly expired fancy olives to your local food pantry and pat yourself on the back for helping to end hunger. Pick an organization and ask what they need. Or, if you have something that is in great condition (I'm talking no smells, stains, rips, holes, etc) take a look around online and see if you can find someone who needs it. If you're having trouble, pick a place to start with, and ask them where it could be best used.

While I am still in the process of cleaning out my garage of the abandoned junk (junk that mostly came from people I haven't been in contact with in a loooong time!) the thing that bugs me the most is food donations. Food pantries and kitchens are trying their best to provide people with the most basic necessity in life- food. So often, we are clueless as the best way to help. Many people donate canned goods that are about to expire (or have already expired) to clean them out of their own pantries. Others choose foods with no nutritious value to donate- a bottle of chocolate syrup isn't going to do a ton to help a family that is going to bed hungry! I was really appreciative when the popular website Buzzfeed posted this article around the holidays, in which they interviewed someone who actually does work for a food pantry, and compiled a list of helpful tips for what to give. It's very handy and addresses a lot of common problems food pantries deal with- and ways you can help! I have it bookmarked on my computer for easy reference!

3. Do your research. I think this one best applies to monetary donations. A lively discussion took place recently in an online group about financial accountability among charities. There are so many well-known groups that we assume are doing a great job with our funds, because how else would they become so popular? Yet a little digging often reveals that our dollars may best be donated elsewhere. For example, the Kids Wish Network brought in close to $20 million in donations in 2012. How much was actually spent on granting wishes? About $200,000. Most of the rest went to fundraisers and for-profit telemarketers. People read the description (granting wishes for seriously ill children) and assume all is well and good- but how many wishes can you really grant with that amount? Do donors know that the vast majority of the dollars they are sending are going to pay telemarketers? Probably not. I don't think that doing your research means you are stingy- it means you are a good steward of your financial blessings. Personally, I prefer only to give to organizations who spend at least 80% of donated dollars to program costs. This means that I no longer give to some organizations that I used to support, before I found out about their financial practices, but I continue to pray for them, would participate in goods drives (for example, collecting books for soldiers and their families, rather than handing over cash to one particular organization) and would also be perfectly happy to make monetary donations in the future, if they improve their spending practices.

The best resource I can recommend to you for researching charities is Charity Navigator. They provide so much information, and even have a little checklist to indicate whether certain bits of information have been disclosed (like a list of board members, or how much the CEO takes in salary.) They're great! It also doesn't hurt to just check the news for information. Goodwill is an American organization where people can donate their clothing, toys, books, and household goods. They employ people who have trouble finding jobs elsewhere, such as the disabled, veterans, and even some homeless people. And it's also good that they provide an inexpensive place to shop for people who may not be able to afford to buy new (or those who choose not to, to save money.) However, I have a huge issue with Goodwill, and right now I am trying to figure out how to deal with it. They utilize a very old loophole in federal law that allows them to pay disabled workers a tiny, tiny fraction of minimum wage. It's appalling, and right now, because of that, I'm hesitant to donate to them or shop their stores. I haven't made a final decision about it yet, because donating items there is very convenient for me (there are two or three Goodwill stores in my general area, whereas other missions and similar charities are located downtown- far away, and hard to get there.) But that's just an example of the information you might find when researching a charity.


My goal in sharing my thoughts about giving is not to discourage anyone from doing so, but to be smart about it. Be a good steward. Share your blessings with organizations who will actually help others, rather than paying their staff all the money and writing it off. And it's good to know how you can best help these people, too- like with the food bank suggestions. What are some other ways you research charities, or how do you decide how and what to give? I'd love to hear your thoughts and suggestions!

No Gift Receipt Required

I can't believe Christmas is only 10 days away! My tree is up (finally) and all the presents are wrapped underneath it. Last night my friends and I had our annual tradition- a "party" with food, movies, and an ornament exchange. This year, since I learned how to crochet, I decided to make party favors for my friends- I made them each a scarf in their favorite colors! Crocheting gives me another way to do something I love- giving people presents. Giving is definitely my favorite part of the holiday season. I really try to find gifts for family and friends that they will love, because I love making people happy in that way!

I think most sponsors would agree that we would love to be able to give gifts to our sponsor kid- not just for Christmas, but all throughout the year. Compassion gives us the opportunity to send a financial gift for birthdays and other occasions, and staff members at the projects will help the kids get what they want and need. But it's also so much fun to pick out my own tangible gifts for my kids on those occasions that I am able to send some- like when I traveled to Tanzania and took backpacks  full of stuff to the boys, or when other sponsors have offered to bring baggies of presents when visiting Compassion countries, or when I was able to mail a doll and a Bible to my friend who was doing language immersion in Mexico, so she could mail them to the Compassion office in-country! Picking out gifts for my kids is such a special occasion, and it is lots of fun. Sometimes an idea for a gift will pop into my head even when I'm not planning on sending anything to a child any time soon, and I like to daydream about what I would send if I had the opportunity! Here are some examples:

Sandier would get an orange plush cat, because in his last letter he told me his cat Picho was black, but he'd like it better if he was orange!

Mary would get a CD player with lots of worship CDs, because she likes to sing!

Mishel would get lots of hairstyling supplies and accessories, because she wants to be a stylist when she grows up, and she likes to practice hairstyles with her cousins.

Kevenel would get a pile of books to share with his library- most of my kids don't have a library anywhere near them, and have never seen one. I was so happy to read that Kevenel has a library nearby!

Amisha would get a pretty, dark-haired doll, because I think she looks like a doll herself, and from her letters, I think that she might need a little more fun and childhood in her life.

Kajal would get a princess crown and dress, because in all my letters I always call her Princess Kajal!


I may not be able to send gifts directly to my sponsor kids this year, but I can send gifts to kids and families in Compassion's program! Compassion has a really amazing gift catalog- you "shop" for things that benefit Compassion families or the child development centers. Making a purchase from the gift catalog is a great way to shop for Christmas gifts. You don't have to deal with crowds and lines at the stores. You don't have to bother with gift wrap. You can always find something for that person in your life who's impossible to shop for (we all have at least one.) There are also great choices for teachers and coworkers- those you may feel obligated to give to, but have no idea what to get! And there are gifts for all budgets, too! Below are some of my favorite choices.

Parasite protection. Bugs are gross to think about, but parasites are a real threat for many children around the world. Unsafe drinking water in particular can pose a great risk to the health of kids in countries where Compassion works. The embarrassing thing is that this common health problem is pretty much preventable- and very inexpensive. For just $4, you can provide medication to protect one child from these invisible creepy crawlers.

Mosquito nets. In Tanzania, we were fortunate to sleep under mosquito nets every single night. Even with the nets, we still got bitten sometimes- but not nearly as much as we would have without them. We were all also on antimalarial medication. Those pills are a luxury not available to many families with kids in Compassion's program. A gift of $18 provides a family with a mosquito net (they're really, really big) treated with insecticide.

Bathrooms. Indoor plumbing is a luxury we definitely take for granted. While our hotels in Tanzania had "sit down" toilets, none of the child development centers did. All but one of the centers told us they had grant applications outstanding for improved bathroom facilities. The two bathrooms I actually went in were outdoor stalls with wooden doors, cement floors and ceramic-coated holes in the ground. One had toilet paper. Good bathrooms are essential for good hygiene, and good hygiene means fewer health problems. A $25 gift to Compassion's "toilet fund" (my name, not theirs) can help these centers achieve their goals!

Medical care. When my Said broke his leg falling off a bus last year, he had to go to the hospital. Then he had to have surgery, placing pins and metal plates in his leg to help it heal properly. This year, he had surgery to take the pins out again. Said's momma could not afford this medical care on her own. I don't even know that they would have had access to a hospital. Said would have been in pain, and he probably would have ended up disabled because of the severe break- and then he couldn't work to take care of his mom or sister, and he wouldn't have been able to grow up healthy and strong to take care of his own family someday. Said got the care he needed because of Compassion. They made sure he saw the right doctors, got the right treatment, paid for his surgery, and helped him get better. He showed me the scar and said to me, "because of you, I was able to be healed." A gift of $40 to Compassion's medical fund can help all the future Saids see doctors and get the medicine and surgeries that they need to thrive.

My boy. 

Baby care. I don't know why people make a big deal about the cost of adoption ("how much did she cost?") No matter how a child comes into your family, they're expensive. From sonograms, bloodwork, ultrasounds and birthing classes to all the checkups and vaccinations babies need, from the start, having a kid costs money. This probably contributes to the fact that in developing nations, some children have a 1 in 5 chance of making it to age 5. With Compassion's help, families involved in the child survival program can get assistance with the medical care that little babies need. A gift of $55 provides medical care for one child for an entire year.

Safe Water. I can't even begin to describe to you how important this is. When I was in Tanzania, we spent our last day visiting the field office in Arusha. Staff members gave presentations on the various aspects of their jobs, and what they were doing in the country. My friend Pando is a researcher for Compassion, and he told us about a study he was working on regarding Compassion's clean water systems. They studied about a thousand families throughout the country who received water filtration systems through the program, and tracked them for a year. Water borne illnesses in adults dropped to less than 5%. Families' overall health improved dramatically in that time. The kids were healthier, too, but they still got sick sometimes because they still had to go to school, where there may not have been a water filtration system. And the great thing about these filters is they last a long time. We were told they produce over a million gallons of clean water- more than the families who received them can use. So they share water with their neighbors and extended family. And more people learn about where the water filter came from. More people have the opportunity to learn about Compassion and their church partners. More people can learn about Jesus. And they can stay healthy and live longer to tell everyone else about the clean water, and where it came from. There's a reason Compassion calls this program Water of Life!

If you'd like to take a look at Compassion's gift catalog for yourself, click here. There are many, many opportunities for giving in there! And you can give throughout the year! If you'd rather take a look at a printed catalog, something you can hold in your hands and share with friends and family, let me know- I have several copies to share!

For God loves a cheerful giver.

"Anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf welcomes me, and anyone who welcomes me welcomes not only me but also my Father who sent me."

This past week has been full of all sorts of special days. Thanksgiving Thursday (who calls it that?) was followed by Black Friday, and then Super Saturday. Sunday didn't have a catchy name, but you might as well call it Sale Sunday because people were still shopping (particularly online) and preparing for Cyber Monday. The past five days or so have been so incredibly focused on money. Consumerism. I have friends who started shopping at dinnertime on Thursday (which makes me a little sad, but ok.) I have friends who shopped for twelve hours. I know people who stayed up late to buy things at certain times from websites offering super deals. People are shopping for gifts, they're shopping for themselves, they're shopping for their kids and their homes. And I can say that there are some good things about this shopping focused weekend. The crazy sales meant I was able to buy a new coat which I really needed since mine had rips and tears, a broken zipper, and was the wrong size (I got it straight out of high school!) My point is, people have dropped a lot of money in the past few days- money on stuff. Good or bad, it's all stuff.

And then someone came up with the idea of Giving Tuesday. I wonder if it's a sort of palate cleanser- what can we do to feel better about the insane amounts of cash that we as a nation have spent this holiday weekend? People like giving to charity around the holidays, anyway. Things like Angel Trees start popping up in our malls and shopping centers, charities start mailing out wish lists (I get them from children's homes, animal shelters, the zoo, and just about everyone else that is charged with taking care of living creatures, human or otherwise.) I think Giving Tuesday is a pretty neat idea, though part of me wishes that it took priority over the "me" centered shopping days. Then again, if we did Giving Tuesday before all that other stuff, people might give less because they'd be afraid of using too much money and not having enough left over for shopping!

So now Giving Tuesday is upon us, and Compassion is doing something really neat. Instead of just a generic push for donations today, as many other ministries and charities are doing, Compassion is concentrating their efforts on fundraising for a brand new Child Survival Program in Gujarat, India. If you followed my trip to Tanzania, you may remember that I visited a Child Survival Program (CSP) in Tanzania. That's the extra program Compassion does for moms and babies- they make sure the  moms enrolled in the program get proper prenatal and postnatal care, job training, advice and support from other mommas, good nutrition....and the babies get their immunizations and check-ups and visits from social workers and playtime with other babies- all these things that are so important to a child's development and that we in the industrialized world totally take for granted. The babies in the CSP are fat. Healthy looking. Average-sized in areas when it's impossible to guess a child's age because they're all smaller than what we're used to seeing. They're healthy and happy. Their moms are making plans for starting businesses with the skills they've learned. Their families are smiling and hopeful. Compassion's CSPs are genius and vital and amazing.

We have a goal today- we want to raise $25,000 this Giving Tuesday to start a brand new CSP in India. India was chosen because those babies need an extraordinary amount of help- statistics show that almost 2 million littles die in India every year- that's over 2,000 a day. Most of them don't make it past their first year. And so, so many of those deaths are preventable. Babies are dying from dehydration, malnourishment, and preventable diseases. Compassion's Child Survival Programs work to knock those out.

Please consider giving to Compassion's campaign today. Let's make this thing happen. You can view the giving page and find more information here.

Looking for more ways to help? Consider tweeting about the campaign, or share about it on your facebook or Instagram. Compassion has some great ideas for sharing here!

How to Pack a Shoebox

Recently I've found that several of my friends are preparing Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes for the first time. My former church has also decided to pack shoeboxes for their Christmas giving project rather than participating in an Angel Tree-type program. I really love working on my shoeboxes throughout the year, and am excited to see others joining in the fun!

I have a lot of experience packing shoeboxes, in addition to shopping for my kids, and I think I have a pretty good handle on what could go in shoeboxes and what kids living in poverty around the world would find helpful. So I decided to do a post about ideas for what to pack!

The way I see it, shoeboxes exist for two reasons: as a gift, and as a way to help others. I think it's a good goal to have a balance between those two things. When I visited my boys in Tanzania, I brought them each a bag of gifts, and I tried to include many things that were both fun and practical. Balance! And I think that's good for shoeboxes, too. That's why I try to include items that are going to be helpful and fun. That being said, I know people who lean more heavily toward the "practical" packing, and some who just pack fun stuff. Samaritan's Purse and OCC don't have rules as to whether a box should lean heavily to one side of that spectrum, because after all, this is your gift to a child. But I try to keep in mind the children who are going to be receiving the shoeboxes: children in poverty lead hard lives, and they often have to grow up too quickly. Many of them may not have any toys- they use trash for soccer balls and play tea party with old cans and boxes. They deserve to have fun. They also need help. The children receiving shoeboxes may not be enrolled in a program that ensures they have essentials like toothbrushes and toothpaste. Some of these kids only have castoffs to wear, or don't have any shoes. And a lot of schools don't provide school supplies- so if a child manages to get a (required) uniform and make it to school, they may not be able to learn very much if they don't have something as simple as pencils. To a family living in poverty, including things like personal hygiene items or school supplies can be a huge blessing.

Below I've listed out everything I can think of to go in a shoebox, both practical and fun. If you don't know where to start with your shoebox, try to pick a few things from both, and see how much room you have left. If you have any ideas to add, leave them in the comments!


Practical

• Washcloth (regular or those fun "magic" ones!)
• Bar soap (floating bars like Ivory work well for kids who bathe in rivers and lakes)
• Soap container
• Toothbrush
• Toothpaste
• Floss
• Combs and hairbrushes
• Hair ties
• Hats
• T-shirts
• Gloves and scarves
• Shoes (flip flops work well because they're flat)
• Socks (I like to find bright, colorful ones!)
• Pencils and pencil sharpener
• Flashlight with batteries
• Glue sticks
• Manicure kits or nail files
• Chapstick
• Bandages or travel first-aid kits
• Sewing kit
• Sunglasses
• Small flannel throw blanket (they fit pretty well if you roll them up tight!)
• Drawstring bag
• Plastic poncho (the little packet kind)
• Kleenex (or fun, printed tissues!)
• Tape measure
• Fishing line and lures
• Nails, screws, hammer, screwdriver (for older boys, in original packaging)
• Plastic dishes (cups, collapsible cups, cutlery)
• "Pillowcase" dresses
• Bandanas
• Mini wall calendars and pocket planners

Fun

• Soccer ball with pump
• Baseball or softball
• Bouncy balls
• Beach ball
• Jacks
• Playing cards
• Travel games ("go fish", checkers and chess)
• Card games ("Old Maid," etc)
• Baby dolls
• "Fashion" dolls (like Barbie)
• Small Lego kits
• Small stuffed animals
• Toy cars and trucks
• Kazoos 
• Harmonicas
• Tambourines
• Recorders
• Yo-yos
• "Ball in a cup" and other simple handheld games
• Tiny etch-a-sketch
• Small purse
• Plastic jewelry
• Headbands
• Barrettes
• Hair clips
• Bobby pins
• Crayons
• Colored pencils
• Markers
• Coloring books
• Drawing pads
• Construction paper pads
• Stickers
• Journals and diaries
• Note pads
• Balloons
• Glitter and sequins
• Pipe cleaners
• Small craft kit (example: beading kit or friendship bracelet kit)
• Slinky
• Board books
• Toy binoculars
• Hacky sack ball
• Jigsaw puzzle
• Finger puppets
• Action figures
• Matching game
• Pinwheels
• Kites
• Play doh
• Silly Putty
• Glow sticks
• Sidewalk chalk
• Stamps and stamp pads
• Watercolors and paintbrushes
• Foam or balsa wood gliders (airplanes)
• Marbles
• Mini connect four
• Rubik's cube
• Spinning top
• Plastic peg game 
• Tote bags and fabric markers
• Small purses
• Watches (plastic, not glass face)
• Fabric quarters (older girls)
• Nail stickers
• Jump ropes
• Kaleidoscope
• Folding fans
• Candy*

*If you're going to pack candy, follow these guidelines. Wrap everything in plastic bags to keep out vermin and bugs. Don't get anything that melts, like chocolate. Don't get candy that's confused with food, like "fruit snacks", as those are categorized separately by customs and can't go in shoeboxes. Hard candies are good (mints, Werthers, those strawberry things everyone's grandma has, Lifesavers, Jolly Ranchers) as well as things like lollipops and gum. 

And here are some guidelines as to what cannot be packed in shoeboxes: 

• Glass. Mirrors, glass watch faces, etc. It can break, and it's dangerous. 
• Knives. Even pocket  knives or multitools with knives. These are gifts going to children, after all. Plus customs might frown on them. Knives are not allowed. 
• Violent toys. Don't get an attitude because it's "not PC" or whatever. A lot of these kids come from countries that are currently or have been recently involved in war. The goal is not to remind them of that. Don't pack things like toy soldiers or water guns. 
• Liquids. Including but not limited to: shampoo, conditioner, nail polish, lotion, sunscreen, body spray, bubbles, lip gloss, hand sanitizer, glue, roll-on items like deoderant (still full of liquid!) etc. Toothpaste may count as a liquid when you're traveling by airplane, but it's fine for shoeboxes. 
• Food. Candy is not food. What is food? Koolaid packets. Gummies. Vitamins- chewables count as food as far as customs is concerned! Basically, if it's edible and isn't hard candy or gum, don't send it. 
• Medicine. While things like tylenol, tums and vitamins would be beneficial to these families, they can't go through customs. And it's probably not safe to send them to kids, anyway. Don't send medicine. 
• Money. This should be obvious, since most countries have different currency, but people still try to do it to be helpful. Pay your $7 shipping donation, but don't put any money in the shoeboxes. 

Haiti Haiti Haiti

Yay! I am doing another ornament fundraiser through ApParent Project and Market Haiti! In order to avoid confusion, I have created a page at the top of my blog called My Fundraisers. You can also click the link here if you are viewing this post through a feed.

I only have these items for sale until October 7th! Please be praying that I sell everything that was sent to me- if I am able to sell it all at the suggested price, that's $800 for the moms and dads in Haiti, and $800 toward my next trip- which, if everything works out, will hopefully be to Haiti as well!!!!!!

Haiti Ornaments!

The ornaments have arrived! In case you missed my previous post about these awesome ornaments, I am partnering with an amazing organization called the Apparent Project to raise money for my Tanzania trip. These ornaments are handmade in Haiti, and they're made from recycled materials. Each one is hand-crafted by a mom or a dad who is earning money to do things like raise their kids or move out of the tent city, thanks to the Apparent Project!

Each ornament comes with ribbon and two paper beads, plus a tag telling you about the artisan who made it. They make excellent gifts!

If you'd like to buy an ornament, you can do so by clicking the Paypal button at the bottom of this post, or up in the right hand corner of the screen. If you're paying with PayPal, each ornament is $10. This covers the fees associated with PayPal, plus shipping is included! If you're interested in paying with a check or cash, let me know and we can get in touch (ornaments will be $8 if you're paying by check or cash.) Out of this money, $5 goes back to the moms and dads who made the ornaments!

I have 150 of these super cute ornaments to sell in the next six weeks. They're the perfect Christmas present! You're helping lots of people, you're buying "green", and as a plus, they're pretty! : )

Here are the designs to choose from. Please let me know which one you want when you pay! Otherwise I'll just pick one for you!

 "Peace" star ornament

"Love" heart ornament

"Joy" tree ornament

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Bite Back

Today is World Malaria Day. I am writing this post to raise awareness about this preventable yet deadly disease, and hopefully to inspire action!

Since I became a Compassion sponsor in 2010, my awareness of certain global issues has multiplied. I knew there were hungry people in the world, but I didn't worry myself sick about it until Tasya told me her family pretty much only eats rice. I knew that people practice religions that involve magic and dark things, but it felt like fantasy until Joane told me someone at her church's revival had demons cast out of him. And I knew that malaria existed, that it affected people in countries other than my own, but I had never feared for someone's life as intensely as I did the day I got a letter from my sweet boy Said in Tanzania, saying his mother was sick with malaria. I immediately started crying, afraid that in the almost two months it took for Said's letter to get to me, he might have lost his mom to this disease. I was so scared for him- he doesn't even know where his dad is, and never has. Who would take care of my sweet boy if something happened to his mom? What if, God forbid, he got sick? After all, if it happened to his mom, it could happen to him. I remember going online and looking into how much it costs to buy mosquito nets for people- it's so inexpensive, it's ridiculous. There is no reason that every family shouldn't have mosquito nets. There are numerous organizations that provide giving opportunities so mosquito nets can be purchased for people who need them. On average, the cost is about $10. That's it. That's a little more than a single fast-food meal. That's the cost of a movie ticket. A fancy bottle of nail polish. Less than a new DVD. If we all made a deliberate choice to skip just one gratuitous impulse decision and gave that money to malaria prevention instead, we could cover the world in mosquito nets in no time.

Said's mother made a full recovery. I wrote to him so many times, telling him I was praying for her and asking how she was doing, that his next half a dozen letters or so included some reassurance that she was doing fine. This has tied our two families together in a way I can't really describe. I truly believe that if I showed up in Tanzania tomorrow, needing a home, Said's mom would welcome me with open arms as if I were a blood relation. If I ever have the chance to visit Said or send him a package, the first thing I'm going to pack for him is a mosquito net!

Every thirty seconds, a child dies from malaria. In the time it took you to read this post, a mother lost a son. A brother lost a sister. We can help stop this, though. Please consider donating to Compassion's malaria intervention program (cleverly titled "Bite Back"), or check out other ways to help through organizations like Nothing But Nets or Samaritan's Purse. And if you have a moment, watch the video!